whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
