I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
