just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
