Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I need to wash the frat house off of me
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
