Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
