Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
She's the barista slut.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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