Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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