when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
