): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
