you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
