We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
jump out the window naked night went bad
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
