margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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