Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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