You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
she peed on how many people?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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