i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
