Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
