So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize