Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
