I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I think im going to throw up on grandma
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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