Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Randomize
