People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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