he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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