what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
