After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I can't put those talents on a resume
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
