You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
