Plan B is the new Plan A
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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