Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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