I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
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