At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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