do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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