Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
We have so much sex to catch up on
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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