she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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