you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
