there's paper in my vomit.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
