I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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