Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
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