it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
The power of my boobs compel you
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
