I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
In America we eat man semen.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
