okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
