see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
