Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
