I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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