my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
