It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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