the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
