so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
