it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
