I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
