Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize