I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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