I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
