I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Randomize
