We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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