Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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