what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
