so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
