a queef is a wish your heart makes.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
