Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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