Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize