I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
