Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
