my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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