Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
