Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Randomize