direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Randomize
