it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
