I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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